The film Nightbitch, which has already caused a stir at festivals, opens in cinemas on December 6th. I was lucky to see it at a preview screening, and believe it is destined to become a must-see film.
The central character, known only as Mother, is an artist. At least she was once, but now that seems a lifetime away, as she prepares the same bland food for her toddler son, day in, day out; interspersed with zombie-like trudges round the supermarket and the awful superficial inanity of the Mum and Baby singing group at the library. She is trapped in the contradictory state of not wanting to be apart from her baby, while at the same time screaming out for just a moment’s solitude to have a shower in peace. Many will nod along empathetically at the utter impossibility of explaining that conflict satisfactorily to one’s partner or the wider world.
In one scene, her simmering resentment grows as her husband has magnanimously agreed to do bath time while she rests, then continually interrupts with a string of shouted requests for items their son needs. She comes into the bathroom to find him barely paying attention while he scrolls on his phone. Incredulous, her eyes bulge murderously, yet all she can manage to articulate is that she has to do bath time all week, every week, on her own, at which he frowns in indulgent confusion.
Friends that I’ve told about the film have queried the name, thinking it derogatory. The title was already in place as it’s an adaptation of the book by Rachel Yoder, where at night the character starts to transform into a dog, i.e. a bitch. This eerie twilight world provides liberation and ultimately salvation for the Mother as she eagerly starts to act like a canine during the day too, scurrying around on all fours or burying her head in plates of food, much to the consternation of those around her.
“Nightbitch hits the nail on the head so well about the many conflicts of motherhood and the whirlwind of matrescence (becoming a mother)”
In any case, I think it is a clever choice of title. Films foregrounding the woman’s experience frequently get sneeringly dismissed as ‘chick flicks’, which is further exacerbated when the woman is a mother. All too often, depictions of motherhood focus either on the surface revelling in farcical chaos, (Bad Moms or Motherland). Or they go overly dark into the area of deep depression, (Abandoned). From the poster, the film looks like it might be a horror, with Amy Adams, in a bravura, hopefully award-winning performance, staring madly at the camera with mud-streaked face, hounds at her side.
I was asked to collaborate on promoting this film because of my work as founder/director of Mothers Uncovered, providing peer-led groups for mothers to share their experiences openly and honestly through creativity and discussion. Nightbitch hits the nail on the head so well about the many conflicts of motherhood and the whirlwind of matrescence (becoming a mother). While the word is not mentioned in the film, all the mother characters know they are experiencing it.
There is a constant jostling in the heart and mind of many emotions; including resentment, anger, joy, confusion, fear, regret and overwhelming love. At Mothers Uncovered, we have worked with nearly 3000 women in exactly this state, both in groups and in my interactions online, where I have interviewed many mothers, both for our podcast and book ‘The Secret Life of Mothers’.
Nightbitch should be seen, not just by mothers, but for anyone interested in motherhood and the impact it has on women. It dances through light, shade and magical realism to produce a visceral, funny and raw piece of work. It doesn’t shy away from the rage that most women feel at certain points in their matrescence journey. Society, and mothers themselves, fear rage in women because they feel it might spiral out of control; that mothers might baulk at remaining compliant homemakers and dutiful wives. Yet the rage remains and must be honoured and acknowledged for mothers to be truly supported.
About the author
Maggie Gordon-Walker is a Writer, Performer, Director of the charity Livestock and the project Mothers Uncovered. Mothers Uncovered is a Sussex peer-led organisation that supports women in matrescence (the transition to motherhood) with creative groups led by past participants. Campaigner for better postnatal care for mothers. Maggie is part of our Spokesperson Network, a community of grassroots leaders with direct experience of social injustice, driving change.
Listen to Maggie’s podcast The Secret Life of Mothers on Spotify here, or wherever you listen. Find her work at https://mothersuncovered.com/ or https://matrescence.uk/ , a hub for matrescence activism, resources and support groups in the UK.