I’m Mercy, and I’m a mother of two boys. I want to tell you about my life as a mother.
When I was in the Philippines, I realised how difficult it was to provide a good life for my children. Life was hard, and with a lack of income, I couldn’t give my children the things they wanted. Even though I was physically with them and showing them my love, there was still an emptiness. I’ve always looked up to the sky, praying, ‘Lord, give me the courage to go abroad, to do what I have to do, and to provide a better life for my kids.’
There was one time when my son was very hungry, and was begging for money. He was begging for bread from my cousins, and I just felt so sorry for him and cried. I will never forget that he begged, and I said to myself that I would never let that happen again.
I left my children when my eldest son was five years old and my youngest was four. I remember when I first left to go to the Middle East, I didn’t take my kids and my husband to the airport — I just gave my sister a farewell letter to give to them. I cried so much because of the pain.
It was hard and painful to be away from my children, but as a mum, I endured the sadness and long periods of separation just to give them a better future. Every second I was away, every day and night, I was thinking about their future. I was asking myself, what if they are sick? What about when it’s their birthday, or Christmas? I wasn’t able to be with them, hug them or take good care of them.
Once, my youngest son asked me when I was coming back. “Why did you spend so much time abroad? Why did you leave us? Please come home mama, we need you, we miss you, we love you.” That’s when my tears came. Because they were so young, I knew they would not understand what I was doing, and that I was doing it for their future. Another time, my eldest son was sick with dengue fever. He called me, and said, “Don’t worry mama, I’m fine. I can do it mama, I’m not a baby, I’m a big boy now.”
Now that I’m away, all I have to hold on to is my faith in God. I know that being a mother is endless. Even though I’m far away, I miss my children. As I slept, I was dreaming they were here next to me and that I could hug them. I had to be strong for their sake, but it was so difficult – especially when I was looking after children who were not my own for my work.
My kids are the only ones who have made me strong and I’m so proud of them. They are my treasures that nothing can replace. They are the only gift from God. I’ve been so patient and patient with them, and when I’ve been in tears and sacrificing so much, I remind myself that I have been doing this so they can finish their studies.
“If we graduate, you won’t have to work anymore mama. You can sit down, while we provide with you,” they tell me. We talk through videocalls day and night, where they sing with me, laugh with me and cry for me. They even tell me about their girlfriends when they go on a date, and their stories make me smile even more. My eldest son’s favourite subject is Home Economics, and he wants to become a chef someday. He competed in a cooking contest and won, and I was so proud of him. My youngest son loves music, playing the guitar and singing. When he sings for me, he sings about growing old together, and I feel so much love for him.
Even though I’m far away from my children, I’m still with them. I left them when they were little boys, and I feel that they have grown up with good manners and mature minds. They have dreams for me too, and every time we have a conversation, they never forget to ask me how I am, if I’ve eaten, where I’ve been. “Always enjoy life mama, someday we’ll be together again,” they say. They know I have done all of this for them, and endured so much even though I am far from them. They have now finished their studies and graduated – this is a very special moment that I will never forget.
Now I’ve helped my kids’ dreams come true, I’m thinking about my own dreams too. I want to be settled here in the UK, and to be together with my family. To be able to have the right to work, and to go back home to visit my family and return again to the UK. As migrant domestic workers, we lost these rights with the changes to the Overseas Domestic Workers visa in 2012. But I’m always praying that someday, these wishes will be granted.
“We are very proud of you mum, because even though you left us for a long time, you are still standing and fighting for us. We really appreciate what you’ve done for us,” my sons tell me. And I’m proud of myself as a mother, that I stood on my own feet and not on someone else’s. I’ve been always praying to God and that has helped me through. I’m not saying I’m perfect, but I’m grateful that God has given me strength. I’m thankful to my children: even though we were apart, they loved me, respected me, and always remembered that I’m their mum. They are my treasures, my life, my everything.
About the Author
Mercy is from the Philippines and has been living in the UK for 14 years. She first worked in Oman for five years as a nanny and housekeeper. She joined the Voice of Domestic Workers in 2022, and is a team member of the MediaCom Working Group, where she helps produce monthly newsletters, design campaigns, graphics, and videos promoting the Voice of Domestic Workers.
Mercy is part of the Future Voices programme, a unique leadership and training programme run in partnership between the Voice of Domestic Workers and Sounddelivery Media equipping a new network of migrant domestic workers with the knowledge, skills and confidence to share their stories, influence public opinion and advocate for change.